I Feel Like A Monster
by Saravv75
Summary: Raven's emoticlone Rage is tired of letting her be a goodie-goodie. She thinks it's time to take matters into her own hands now.But what will happen to the boy who loves her when Raven is forced to go insane? BBxRae oneshot. Rated T for blood and gore?-shrugs-


He brought himself up carefully. tears began to leek from his eye sockets as he gazed up at her twisted smile.

_It's for her own good. . . _He told himself. But it was no use, he just couldn't convince himself that was true. It did not matter on the outside though. He shifted into a cheetah and roared loudly at her.

"** Come and get me. . .** " She whispered.

* * *

Raven sat quietly as she stared at the mirror world. Her reflection stared back. Literally. Within that mirror world were several different personalities. But only one out of the several personalities seemed interested in talking to her right now. Her evil emoticlone, Rage, had been waiting for this for a while now.

" What do you want? " Raven asked angrily, her words filled with hatred.

" Why so serious Raven? I just want to talk. " The emoticlone responded.

" What' s there to talk about? The prophecy no longer exists and it' s pointless to try and convince me to embrace evil. " Raven responded.

" Pointless you say? I beg to differ. " Rage responded, with the same sadistic smile plastered on her face.

" What do you mean by that? " Raven asked.

" Things have changed but that doesn't mean the possibilities have. " She said.

" Whatever. " Raven responded with her usual monotone voice. Before she put the mirror down, she heard a happy, overexcited voice come from it.

" Hey are you talking to Rae? Hi Rae! " She saw her pink clothed emoticlone waving to her from inside the mirror, laughing hysterically. Raven sighed and set the mirror down carefully. She then lay back on her bed, thinking over what Rage had said.

_Possibilities? What ' Possibilities' ? _She though to herself.

" Ah screw it. " She said out loud. It was probably nothing important, right? Wrong. But Raven hadn't known that. It was late in the afternoon and she hadn't come out of her room yet. She got up groggily and walked toward the door which slid open due to the motion sensors inside her room. Before she left she grabbed a book off one of her shelves and began walking. She opened her book and read from where she last left off. Finally, she walked through the door of the main room and sat down on the couch.

" Mornin' Rae. " Her little green friend, Beast Boy, greeted her casually. She gave him a quick glare.

" I mean, good morning Raven! " He corrected himself laughing nervously. " So. . . you wanna hear a joke? " He asked, mashing buttons on his game controller.

" No thanks. " She responded, flipping a page in her book.

" Ok, why did the chicken cross the road? "

" To beat up the idiot telling a joke about him? " Raven asked with a smirk.

( Sorry I just had to use some way to shut Beast Boy up. )

" Aww! C'mon you didn't even let me finish my joke! " He laughed.

" That's because your jokes are terrible. " She responded.

" That's not what Happy you said. " He grinned.

" Shut up. " She said, pushing him playfully. Believe it or not, Raven found comfort in being around this immature, hyper little green boy. She didn't know what it was that made her feel this way but she knew it was nice. Robin and Cyborg peered at the two from the counter in the kitchen where they were watching Starfire cook.

" Their quite fond of each other today. " Cyborg whispered. Robin snickered as quietly as he possibly could. For an ample amount of the day, Raven and Beast Boy just sat on the couch. One reading her book, the other mashing the buttons on his controller. Everything seemed great. Well, until the alarm went off. Robin leaped out of his seat and ran to the computer.

" Titans! Trouble! " He shouted. Raven sighed and set her book down to walk over and see what was up, Beast Boy following. On the screen appeared a familiar face that they hadn't seen for quite a while. It was Adonis. He hadn't appeared since their first encounter, when Beast Boy became the beast and tried to protect Raven. For this reason, the two of them had a grudge against Adonis and assumed he had a grudge just as big as there's.

" Adonis is wrecking gyms across the city! Titans! Go! " The five titans dashed out the door and loaded into the T-car. Robin and Cyborg in front while Starfire, Beast Boy and Raven sat in the back. The T-car hovered across the water and began to drive as soon as it reached land. They found a few wrecked streets as the team drove toward their destination.

" Talk about a train wreck. " Beast Boy joked. Raven stared at him, raising an eyebrow.

" Oh, come on! That wasn't funny? At all? " He asked. Raven shook her head smiling while Beast Boy wasn't paying attention. It only took a short time before they caught up to Adonis and his wreckage.

" Puny Titans! You will not defeat Adonis this time! " He yelled slamming a giant fist on the ground.

" Not on our watch! Titans! Go! " Robin exclaimed. With that, the titans leaped into battle. Adonis seemed more powerful then before, swatting aside Cyborg and nearly crushing Starfire with his foot. Robin through many bird-a-rangs which didn't seem to work. He also tried close combat but Adonis just picked him up and flicked him off as if he were some kind of pesky fly. Beast Boy shape shifted into a T-Rex and dashed forward,smashing his large head into Adonis' body.

But, with ease, Adonis grabbed his head and through him aside, making him crash into some wrecked work out equipment. Raven gasped at this and growled at Adonis. He grinned and ran toward her, punching her in the stomach. She flew backward and hit a wall. She got up slowly, dusting herself off. She turned to Adonis, her eyes red in anger. She began taking the horrifying form from which took place on the titans' first encounter with Dr. Light.

Adonis backed away slowly, staring wide-eyed at her. Dark tendrils seeped out from under Raven's robe and started to wrap themselves around Adonis' limbs. One of his battle suit' s arms was ripped off and slowly pulled into the darkness underneath of Raven's cloak. Adonis screamed in terror as a leg from the suit was ripped away. Raven laughed sadistically as she tore away the armor, leaving only the wimpy regular Adonis behind.

He tried to crawl away but the dark tendrils reached for him.

" Raven! Stop it! " Beast Boy shouted as he got up from the rubble he was thrown into and ran toward her. Raven blinked and looked around. She began to groan as her head ached painfully. The dark tendrils retreated into her robe as she returned to normal and stared in disbelief at what she had done. Adonis shook violently at the traumatic experience he had just been victimized of.

Raven backed away from everyone slowly, scared of what they might think of her for what she had just done. She turned away and began to run for the tower, hearing someone call after her. She didn't look back though she just wanted to go to her room and leave this behind.

-Later-

There was knocking on her door, but she was too afraid to answer it.

" Raven? Raven? " Beast Boy's voice called to her from outside the door. Knowing Beast Boy, he wouldn't go away any time soon so she got off her bed and walked toward the door. It slid open, surprising Beast Boy.

" Are you ok? " He asked concernedly. She nodded.

" So what happened back at the fight? " He asked. She shook her head.

" I don't know what came over me. " Suddenly, she gasped and shut the door.

" Raven? What's wrong? " He questioned.

" Beast Boy, I need you to leave. " She said through the door.

" Why? "

" Just do it! " She commanded.

" Ok! Ok! I'll go. " He said, turning away from the door and walking off down the hall. Raven walked over to her bed where she had set down her Nevermore mirror before she left her room. She picked up and found Rage waiting for her.

" What did you do? " She asked angrily.

" I helped you. You need help did you not? " Rage responded.

" Not from you i didn't. Don't do it again, got it? " Raven said.

" Of course. " Rage said, her grin growing wider if that was even possible. Raven put the mirror down threw the covers over herself. She was going to sleep this horrible thing away, no manner how early it was.

-Next Day-  
Sunlight streamed in through the windows of Titans Tower. Instead of being in is room, Beast Boy was laying on the couch asleep, holding a game controller in his hand. He opened eye slightly to see the sun as it rose. He yawned and stretched, falling off the couch.

He realized his GameStation had overheated over night. He groaned and got up from the floor, rubbing his eyes. He then realized his stomach was growling so he dashed over to the fridge and searched for his plate of leftover tofu from dinner last night.

" Man where is it. . . " He muttered to himself.

" On the counter? " Beast Boy screamed a girly scream and shut the fridge door to see Raven standing near the counter, pointing to a plate of rotting tofu.

" Oh, nice scream by the way. " She commented sarcastically with a smirk.

" Oh. . . it's just you Rae- " She gave him a glare. " Raven. Why are you up so early? " He asked.

" Got to sleep early, you wake up early. " She replied grabbing the plate of stale tofu and tossing it in the trash.

" Are you still upset about yesterday? " He asked. Raven went silent.

" No. " She replied, trying to maintain her monotone voice.

" Raven, we don't care about what happened. We still don't think your evil. " Beast Boy assured her. She nodded.

" Thanks Beast Boy. "

" For what? "

" For being my friend all the way through everything that's happened since the day the Titans came together. " Raven said. Beast Boy smiled.

" Thanks for saying that, Raven. It means alot. "

" I'm glad it does. " She said glancing at him, giving the slightest smile possible. Then, As if to ruin the moment, Cyborg burst into the room, yawning loud enough for everyone in the United States to hear.

" Good morning! " He exclaimed walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. Robin and Starfire walked down behind him chatting about something unimportant to this story.

Beast Boy, even with his tiny brain, sometimes wondered how tight those two could possibly be. So far, he hasn't seen them fight or argue or anything like that ever since the happenings in Tokyo. Sometimes he even wished he could be like that with someone he knew.

Someone he held near and dear to his heart. But he knew that this someone would never like him back. But that didn't mean he would give up hope on her. Beast Boy looked over to his GameStation and thought about how happy he'd been when Raven decided to sit down on the couch with him. He wanted to see if it would happen again today, but now his GameStation had overheated.

Maybe if he tried something different though. He picked up a comic book from the table in the kitchen and plopped down on the couch, beginning to read. Once in a while a would peek up from his comic book to see if Raven was coming over. And after peeking several times he saw Raven walk toward the door of the main room.

" I have to go meditate. Don't interrupt. " She said. And with that, she was gone. Beast Boy groaned and shut the comic book. He heard some giggling and snickering from the corner of the room and turned to see Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg giving him cheerful smiles.

" Love bird. " And with those two words that Cyborg spoke, the three of them burst out laughing. Even Starfire, who probably didn't understand. Beast Boy blushed furiously and looked away.

" So, friend Beast Boy, you are too rooster to tell Raven the feelings you have? " Starfire asked. Beast Boy looked at her with a confused face.

" I think she means your being a chicken? " Robin translated for him. Beast Boy jokingly shape shifted into a chicken and began cluck and peck the ground, inducing more laughter upon the other three Titans. Beast Boy returned to normal and glared at them. They stopped laughing instantly because of that glare that Beast Boy never normally used.

" So what if I like Rae? We didn't make fun of you when we figured out you had a crush on Starfire. " He commented. Robin nodded.

" Good point, good point. " He responded.

" Alright everyone. Lay off Beast Boy. " Robin commanded. Beast Boy sighed in relief and plopped back down on the that didn't last long. The alarm blared.

" Titans! Trouble! " Robin exclaimed. Raven appeared out of the wall and ran toward the computer with the other Titans.

" Dr. light? AGAIN? I thought he quit after the all out attack. " Beast Boy said, thinking back to their last attack on Dr. Light.

" It doesn't manner. If he's doing wrong, it's our job to stop him. Titans Go! " Robin called out. And with that, the team headed to the T-car. They got in and drove off to Dr. Light's location. Once again, Dr. Light was robbing a bank.

" Again? This is just getting boring now Dr. Light. " Raven shouted, getting out of the T-car.

" The Teen Titans! Good, good. Now I can test my upgrade out for real. " Dr. Light said with a grin. On his arm was a device with many buttons on it. He pressed a few and a high pitched sound came from his arm. His suit was on full charge now.

He blasted large, powerful energy blasts at the Titans. Starfire was hit while the others dodged. Robin threw several bird-a-rangs, which were reflected back by the shield Dr. Light had put up. When that didn't work, Robin began using close combat which was easily avoided with another energy blast, sending Robin through the window of a building. Beast Boy shifted into a bat and began flying around Dr. Light's head. But strangely, Dr. Light hadn't been scared this time. He simply slammed Beast Boy into a garbage can with his hand.

Cyborg charge his sonic cannon and blasted it, Dr. Light countering with his energy blast. As the two forces of energy battled Raven began charging her own energy.

" Azarath. . . Metrion. . . ZINTHOS! " Raven exclaimed blasting Dr. Light backwards. He was still shooting the blast so instead of continuing to battle against Cyborg's, it hit Raven onto a rooftop. Dr. Light got up, dusting himself off. While Cyborg was distracted by where Raven had landed, He blasted Cyborg in the back, making him tumble over on the street. Raven groaned and got up slowly. She looked down over the edge of the building to see her friends unconscious on the ground.

She growled and flew down from the building, landing in front of Dr. Light. Raven's head began hurting, she held it She began to take the form that Dr. light had feared in his nightmare.

" Oh no. AAAH! " He yelled and began running. She grinned sadistically and the dark tendrils wrapped themselves around Dr. Light, dragging him under the robe again.

" No! I don't want to go back! Please! Let me go I surrender! I'll got to jail! I'll stop robbing banks! Just please don't kill me! ! ! " Dr. Light pleaded. Raven laughed insanely, enjoying his fear. At this moment, the other Titans became conscious.

" Raven! Stop! " Robin shouted. She didn't respond. She continued to pull Dr. Light into the darkness. Robin gritted his teeth and ran toward Raven.

" Robin, what are you doing? " Beast Boy called.

" Stopping her! " He shouted. Robin sent sharp bird-a-rangs at Raven's tendrils, cutting Dr. Light loose from them. He ran straight to the jail house, not wanting to ever see the Titans again. Raven turned to glare at Robin.

" Raven. I'm gonna have to ask you to stop. " Robin demanded, arming himself with his bo staff. Raven rose a hand and forced Robin backwards with her dark energy.

" Please you are our friend! Do you not remember? " Starfire said, hoping to snap Raven out of this insane behavior.

" I don't have any friends. " She responded, slamming Starfire against the concrete with one of her tendrils.

" Don't make me do it girl. " Cyborg stepped up out of some rubble in the area, pointing his sonic cannon in her direction. She snickered and smashed a boulder against his circuits.

" Anyone else care to deny me? " She asked, looking around at the damage she had cause. She was quite pleased with herself.

" I do. " Raven turned to see Beast Boy standing behind her.

" This ought to be fun. " She said, a sadistic grin crossing her face. Beast Boy only gave her an angered stare. But on the inside, he felt hurt to see her acting like this. He didn't want to attack Raven, not at all.

" Are you going to move or not? " She asked confusedly. He didn't say a word. " Very well. " She said, not very pleased to see her opponent not fighting her. Raven began charging dark energy in the palms of her hands, walking toward him. She wrapped a hand around his neck tightly, raising him in the air.

This brought a good deal of mental and physical damage to the green boy. He struggled to escape her grip. This was not enough for Raven though. She wanted him to suffer more painfully then the rest of them. Her dark tendrils rose up to Beast Boy and began to cut through his pale green flesh. He screamed in pain as blood began to seep from the fresh wounds on his body. He wanted this pain to end but he didn't want to hurt Raven either.

Sadly, he didn't have that choice. He began growing larger, becoming a T-Rex to escape her grip. She then forced him backwards with pulses of energy, he tumbled backwards, further damaging the new wounds on his body. He brought himself up carefully. tears began to leek from his eye sockets as he gazed up at her twisted smile.

_It's for her own good. . . _He told himself. But it was no use, he just couldn't convince himself that was true. It did not matter on the outside though. He shifted into a cheetah and roared loudly at her.

"** Come and get me. . .** " She whispered. He leaped at her, not expecting to hit her. But she actually allowed it. He had her pinned on the ground. He thought he'd miss. He thought he wouldn't really have to hurt her. No. He had to now. It was a life and death situation. He cried on the inside as he sunk his claws into her grey skin. She didn't scream. She just lay there voluntarily, letting his claws sink deeply into her skin.

He leaped off of her, letting her get up. She laughed.

" I knew you were too scared to do it! " She exclaimed rather gleefully. He glared.

" Your not Raven. Your not the Raven I know. " He said to her. Though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

" There's only one Raven. " She responded. The tendrils shot out to cut Beast Boy again. He didn't sit there this time. He shifted into a rhinoceros and charged at her head-on.

_No mercy. . . _He thought to himself as his horn slammed Raven against a building. He automatically shifted into a hawk and began to claw at her face. She swat him away and blasted at him as he took on fly form to avoid the beams easier. He took on wolf form as he hit the ground and dashed toward hit him away with one of her tendrils, though.

As the fight wore on, Beast Boy grew evidently weaker. After Raven's last attack he began to stumble backwards, panting in exhaustion. Finally he collapsed to his knees. Raven moved closer to him and stared down at her ' prey ' . She laughed at his weak state and hit him again, his blood making a trail to where he had landed. He struggled to get up and continue fighting, but he was in bad shape and needed medical assistance more then he needed to fight.

" Raven. . . Don't do this. I'm your friend. We're your friends. " Beast Boy pleaded.

" As I said before, I have no friends. " She responded.

" Don't you remember? You said you were thankful that I stayed your friend through everything that's happened. We beat bad guys, we ate at the pizza place, we stopped the end of the world. Is that all nothing to you now? " He asked, his eyes wet with tears. She looked down at him, listening carefully to his words. Her expression only changed to a straight face instead of a sadistic grin. But deep inside her glowing red eyes, Beast Boy could see that she knew how much harm she had done.

But this detail did not last long, for Raven was not convinced she really had any friends. She snickered.

" You can't trick me into stopping. " She laughed. Beast Boy's heart sank. His last chance at saving both himself and Raven had failed. She rose a large tendril up. He knew it was all over now. And that only meant one thing to him. It was time to tell the truth since he would die anyway. He took a deep breathe.

" Raven. . . " He began. " I love you. I have in life and I will in the after life. " He confessed. He looked away as he knew his fate was sealed. But, and i'm happy to say this, he was very wrong. The tendrils began to disappear, seeping back under Raven's robe where they belonged. Her red eyes returned to their original violet colored selves.

" You. . . love me? " She asked, looking down at Beast Boy. He nodded and began to cough. " We have to get you to Titans Tower. " She said worriedly. She knelt down and picked him up, then turned to look at the wreckage after what had happened.

" Raven! " She heard a familiar voice shout to her. She turned to see Robin and the other running toward her.  
Starfire gasped.

" Beast Boy! Is he. . . ? " She asked without finishing her sentence. Raven nodded.

" We have to get him to the tower. _Now_. " She said, trying to hold back tears of sadness.

" It's good to have you back. " Cyborg commented before they headed off to the tower.

" Good to be back. " She said, glancing down at the unconscious green boy in her arms.

Beast Boy lay in the infirmary, his wounds bandaged and healing. He was thankful that he had survived and that he would be back on his feet soon, but also worried of what Raven might think of him. He had confessed because he knew he thought going to live. But he had lived, and now felt as if he and Raven would never be able to look at each other the same again.

Suddenly, as he flipped through a comic book that Cyborg brought in, the door had opened up. He peeked up from the book to see a saddened Raven walking toward him. He looked back at the comic book, pretending as if he hadn't seen or heard her come in.

_Oh man. . . I'm really going to get it now._ He thought as she approached him. He felt a light tapping on his shoulder. He looked up from his comic book silently. She stood there, her hood was down, but her hair covered her eyes.

" Raven? " Was the only thing he could say before she threw her arms around him and hugged him gently, making sure not to hurt him. She sobbed quietly repeating over and over how sorry she was for what she did.

" It's ok. " He whispered into her ear softly.

" I just don't know what came over me. . . " She said in between sobs. " But I think I know who does. . . I'll be right back. " Beast Boy watched as Raven left the room. He waited patiently for her to come back. When she did, she held a mirror in her hand.

" That's the mirror that goes into your head, right? " Beast Boy asked, remembering the time he and Cyborg traveled into it. She nodded and held the mirror up to him. He looked inside to see all nine emoticlones messing around freely inside.

" Knowledge? " Raven questioned to the mirror. The yellow robed emoticlone turned to the mirror. " Can you explain what happened? " The emoticlone nodded.

" You see, Raven, Rage had been planning something sinister for a long time. She figured out over this period of time how to restrain the rest of us, allowing her to take control of you. It's quite simple actually. " She explained.

" Thanks, Knowledge. " She responded and set the mirror down. " Beast Boy? Did you really mean what you said? " She finally asked. Beast Boy was about ready to deny everything to assure his own safety. But instead. . .

" Yes. . . I did mean what I said Raven. I do love you. And it really hurt to see you like that. " He responded instead of lying. She once again threw her arms around him.

" Thank you. " She whispered.

" For what? " Beast Boy asked.

" For saying that you love me. " She responded, smiling warmly.

* * *

**Well. I guess that turned out pretty well :3 **

**So anyway, this is sort of a oneshot. I got this whole idea from a comic strip. A COMIC STRIP! IT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ANY WORDS! Ok maybe a few words but STILL! IT WAS ONLY FOUR PANELS. Then again someone could tell a story with just those panels but STILL!  
**

**I give most of the credit to limey404 of ( I'm also there if you want to check me out Same username as here. ) because it was his comic strip that gave me this idea. A nice round of applause for Limey everyone.  
**

**So I hope you enjoyed my evil, dark, happy ending story.  
**

**NOIAMNOTCONTINUINGITNOMANNER WHATYOUSAYORHOWMUCHYOURBEG!  
**

**Oh I almost forgot:**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE TEEN TITANS! ( Yet :3 )  
**

**Ok see you all next time! BYE! **

**_~ Saravv75 The Crazy Ass_  
**


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